Short Story Club


  1. Dreams Do Come True
  2. Endless Game
  3. Ready To Die
  4. The Risk


In My View


  1. Living A Value Based Life
  2. Self-Care In A Crisis
  3. Baby Girl Expectations
  4. My Feminist Journey
  5. The Experiential Diary


Fragments


  1. The Importance Of Basquiat
  2. Get To Know Steve McCurry
  3. The Passage That Changed Me
  4. Let’s Talk 1984
  5. Literature So Black
  6. Dave The Storyteller
  7. 10vs10 A Lockdown Tale of Enjoyment
  8. Views
  9. An Ode To Insecure
  10. Michaela Coel Is The Goal
  11. The Elite Desperate Housewives
  12. Ugly Betty: Was It Really Love?
  13. 90s Black Cinema


Poet’s Corner


  1. Breakdown
  2. Delusions Of Grandeur
  3. Helen Of Troy
  4. Crush
  5. Truest Self
  6. What Do I Want?
  7. Rise
  8. Best In The Multiverse
  9. A Complex Affair with Misery
  10. I Did The Love Game Wrong

The Passage That Changed Me


Giovanni’s Room by James Baldwin



The Passage:

“Love him,’ said Jacques, with vehemence, ‘love him and let him love you. Do you think anything else under heaven really matters? And how long, at the best, can it last, since you are both men and still have everywhere to go? Only five minutes, I assure you, only five minutes, and most of that, helas! in the dark. And if you think of them as dirty, then they will be dirty— they will be dirty because you will be giving nothing, you will be despising your flesh and his. But you can make your time together anything but dirty, you can give each other something which will make both of you better—forever—if you will not be ashamed, if you will only not play it safe.’ He paused, watching me, and then looked down to his cognac. ‘You play it safe long enough,’ he said, in a different tone, ‘and you’ll end up trapped in your own dirty body, forever and forever and forever—like me.”



I read Giovanni’s Room in my final year of university. At this point I was suffering through my dissertation and finally taking medication for my depression. The book was a life changing read and pivotal to helping me figure out some things about the relationship I was in.



The Path It Set Me On


I was extremely obsessed with this book; it only took me three days to complete as I sought refuge in my room. When I encountered this particular passage, I felt my own heart shatter, as I felt like I was the person on the receiving end of the speech.

The idea being presented to me had me then looking at love differently and I began to truly analyse what it meant to love somebody. I was in a relationship with somebody, they frequently said “I love you”, whilst I’d occasionally say it, but with little to no feeling. As I read Mr Baldwin’s words, over and over again, I realised I hadn’t been true in my relationship and the person I was with wasn’t someone I could love and let love me.



How It Changed My Life


Firstly, there was my dramatic revelation, which although didn’t immediately lead me to breaking up with that person, it enlightened me enough and when I had the strength to leave, that’s just what I did.

In continuance, the passage has stayed with me. I feel that in its own way, it has helped me shed my avoidant attachment style. I use it to help me open up, and whenever I enter something new, and I am apprehensive to open up and let myself truly be seen i.e., stop being dirty in my own sense, I remember this passage and allow myself to surrender to the emotions I’m feeling, because the being guarded would render me worse off.

On a different note, it also allowed me to glimpse how queer people may feel about their relationships and gain more empathy for situations I may not have understood in the past.

And last, but not least, this is the book that put me onto James Baldwin, since then I have consumed other stories from him and allow myself to be heartbroken, entertained, enlightened, and charmed.

I’m a huge James Baldwin fan I appreciate the way he tells his stories with some charm, relatability and raw honesty.