Short Story Club


  1. Dreams Do Come True
  2. Endless Game
  3. Ready To Die
  4. The Risk


In My View


  1. Living A Value Based Life
  2. Self-Care In A Crisis
  3. Baby Girl Expectations
  4. My Feminist Journey
  5. The Experiential Diary


Fragments


  1. The Importance Of Basquiat
  2. Get To Know Steve McCurry
  3. The Passage That Changed Me
  4. Let’s Talk 1984
  5. Literature So Black
  6. Dave The Storyteller
  7. 10vs10 A Lockdown Tale of Enjoyment
  8. Views
  9. An Ode To Insecure
  10. Michaela Coel Is The Goal
  11. The Elite Desperate Housewives
  12. Ugly Betty: Was It Really Love?
  13. 90s Black Cinema


Poet’s Corner


  1. Breakdown
  2. Delusions Of Grandeur
  3. Helen Of Troy
  4. Crush
  5. Truest Self
  6. What Do I Want?
  7. Rise
  8. Best In The Multiverse
  9. A Complex Affair with Misery
  10. I Did The Love Game Wrong

Changing my self-care in a crisis



As a very existential person who constantly ponders existence and thinks about the ease of not being here, despite how much I enjoy living. Often I go through crises as someone who struggles with their mental health, and I have had to figure out how to balance my existence in a healthy way.

My history includes having been on antidepressants when I was at breaking point and going through rounds of different types of therapy. I am now at a stage where I am managing on my own without the resources from before, but the knowledge and tools I’ve manifested from my lessons and experiences. I am manage a depression that threatens to get me every so often. Anxiety that attempts to throw me over the edge. And ADHD that’s extremely unregulated.

I wanted to share how it is that I keep the biggest and baddest monsters at bay. Having re-examined my life many times, applied tools and reimagined the ways in which I cope with my mental health, this is what I've learned.




Tool One - Do I need dopamine, serotonin, oxytocin, or an endorphin?


When I underwent CBT I was gifted with more resources than I knew how to use, and within them there was a chart that explained the four hormones that contribute to positive emotions – dopamine, serotonin, oxytocin, or endorphins. Each of these hormones play a role in providing us with joy and allow us to remedy the problems we may have in life.


The hormones and their functions


Serotonin – the mood stabiliser, wellbeing, happiness producer.

Dopamine – pleasure hormone, motivational role in brain’s reward system.

Oxytocin – Bonding, love, trust hormone.

Endorphins – Pain relief, runner’s high, relaxation hormone.


Focusing on the hormone that may be lacking or most useful to gain more of has helped me to navigate the different crises I encounter that threaten my stability. For example, I could feel a crippling sense of loneliness which makes me not want to live. The solution could be a connection; therefore, I need an oxytocin-based solution such as a hug from a loved one, petting an animal or a call with a friend. By recognising what it is I may be lacking, I am able to tailor my self-care in the best way, in order to alleviate the darkest of thoughts.



Tool Two - In my control vs out of my control


One of the best ways I have of pulling myself from the ledge is writing down the actual problems I’m facing that are causing extreme and intense feelings of ‘unaliving’ oneself.

After writing them down, I find that it’s best to categorisee them into things I can control and things I can’t control. After that, it’s just a matter of reframing the scenarios. Then once I’ve done that, I am able to see through the doom and gloom, which helps alleviate the extremeness I’ve placed on the situations.




Tool Three - Separating self-care into needs and wants


I find that listing the things that are necessary for my immediate survival is a good way to diffuse myself. After reaching the stage when I am no longer critical, I begin to work towards the goals that will aid my immediate survival i.e., nutrition, shelter, a safe space. Maslow’s theory of hierarchy really does make its way around.

Then as I progress in looking after myself, I begin listing the things that I want that can bring me joy and the ways of getting those things – these things tend to be small, bitesize, and easily accessible ways on garnering joy i.e., a small treat such as a chocolate bar (serotonin boost). Or relieving myself of the worst thoughts i.e., journaling so I can feel lighter.

Operating on the needs and wants basis is helpful for getting me back on track, especially when I have a big mental health wobble.



Overall


There are several practical ways of taking yourself out of the danger zone. These are a few I have cultivated based on personal experiences, and therapy sessions that explain my body and mind and their connected processes. Whilst it’s best to seek immediate help when at a critical point, if you’re someone that suffers from mental illness, these small steps are good management to stop you from getting there. Prevention before it gets too grave is the most ideal way to help manage your mental wellbeing. But please remember, I’m not a medical professional, just a fellow mentally unwell person wanting to help.